"I MUST BE BEST AT WHAT I DO!" was a belief that I held during a long time
In 2018, I had a life-threatening accident that triggered a change of my perspective.
With strong pains and only one functioning arm, I cannot do the extremely difficult mountaineering routes that I enjoyed so much. I can only work a few hours a day due to the pain killers. I now cannot be best on lots of fields.
I realized that linking my performance, be it in sports or in the job, and my self-esteem, is profoundly destructive: as soon as there is a failure, it's a threat to my identity and it triggers a high stress level.
It had pushed me into jobs where I was almost sure to succeed and to avoid unconsciously more challenging ones.
This belief, instead of helping me, was a self-sabotage.
How much do you link your identity to your success? How fast do you digest failures?